Where the Fuck’s All the Jobs

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs, it’s always a media frenzy. The shit-tide that sways back and forth throughout the years. Everyone’s out of work! There’s no fuckin’ work. We need jobs. Hasn’t anyone noticed else noticed that while everyone’s out breeding and watching T.V. the whole planet has turned into a shit-heap. No Jobs? Can someone please take a fuckin’ boat out to the giant plastic island and clean that shit up? That would be a job. Jesus, we might as well sling shit at each other. The greatest achievements of 2013 are extraterrestrial dick doodles, and garbage island! I know everyone’s bitching about how we could never possibly clean it up, but if we’re half as good at working together as we are at killing each other, then I’m sure we can at least get the ball rolling.

Anyone else wanna go from one coast to another in just a few hours? I like the idea of seeing the people you love, no matter where they live, in just a few hours. So where the hell’s the bullet train at? Well, folks, there’s a good reason we don’t have one, a lot of bridges out there are about to collapse. Can’t really work on a train when the core infrastructure is starting to shit itself. I’m sure the government or someone will pitch in for these issues eventually. A certain amount of people have to die before anything gets done around here, that’s how you know it’s worth the money.

I know a place in this country where the everyone’s drinking toxic waste! It’s called the Northwest. That’s cause Southeast Washington is oozing green shit. Don’t panic, it’s actually working out fine! It’s a great way to get cancer, so it keeps the population in check; when you live in a city that thinks fluoride is a corporate-science-conspiracy to kill everyone, you really start to appreciate population control. So why bother having someone come out to fix that shit? Nature’s gonna fix itself, and it’s also going to kill us in the process!

No jobs?! There’s absolutely nothing better for a whole society to do than flip burgers and bag groceries? Lets take these people and pay them a wage a person can actually live on, without scraping by. Have them take all the garbage on the planet, gather it, then shoot it out to the Sun. It doesn’t have to be our sun, any overwhelming orb of nuclear annihilation will do! Just gather the shit up, build a few huge fucking rockets–see jobs everywhere. America has just as many jobs as anywhere else, what it seems to be lacking in is foresight, funding, ingenuity, motivation, education, and direction in general, but that’s to be expected of a society that is largely unhappy, overworked, sick, and to poor to have have time for anything else other than work and sleep.



2 thoughts on “Where the Fuck’s All the Jobs

  1. We need to get rid of all the fake jobs too. All those number crunchers and psychologists finding ways to influence people to buy more shit they don’t need and all those safety departments that are now doing nothing more than over-regulating the world with more rules and paper work. You can’t pick up a shovel without taking a safety class and getting signed off on it.


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