- Guys, you can’t rape women anymore! You can’t! You’ve been doing horrible things to women for most of history. You seem to think the sheer luck of being a man entitles you to whatever you want–but it doesn’t.
- Don’t snatch shit that’s handed to you.
- Only hold a door for a woman if you’d do the same for a man, and don’t do it when the person’s a mile away from the door. You’re no longer helping, you’re being an ignorant shithead.
- When someone talks to you, don’t ignore them. If you can’t take one second to look, make brief eye contact, and say, “hi”, you have a mental deficiency.
- Just because you stay up till 4 AM doesn’t mean I do. Goodnight!
- You should only look and smell homeless, if you are actually homeless, because it’s really confusing. And your goddamned herbal oils don’t cover up your B.O., it makes it worse!
- When you stop your car and yell profanity at me, I will throw my beer bottle at your windshield, and you will have to explain that shit to the car’s owner.
- Ladies, most men are just too stupid to know the difference between glancing, staring, touching and fucking.