5 Tips to Surviving Climate Change:

  • First things first, ditch your oceanfront property, or have it rebuilt a few miles back from the water so the ocean’s inevitable rise won’t destroy it.
  • Get out of Florida while you still can.
  • Keep a kid-pool and winter coat on hand at all times, because you never know what extreme weather patterns will do.
  • Start saving now because with a rising ocean, and crops burning across the world, money’s going to be tight! Expect high food prices, and high taxes. At least we’re all guaranteed future jobs in construction.
  • Get plenty of Polar Bear pictures, they’ll be gone by the end of the century, along with a many others due to the strict interconnectedness of our ecological system.

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