Alter Egos


“G’ morning.” Except I’m bloated and my clothes feel like cling wrap.

“Hope you’re ready to hustle, we have a lot of work to get done today, and it’s going to be busy.” Jesus Christ your ass looks delicious.

Goddammit you’re not my fucking boss. “Yup, ready to work.” Jesus, stare a little harder at my ass you fucking creep.

“By the way, noticed you clocked in late the other day.”

“I’m sorry, the bus is almost never on time.” This is not worth 8 an hour.

“We talked about this.” Suck my thick management cock. “Take an earlier bus,” choke, “you know what time you need to be here.

From the guy who’s never set foot in a bus. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.” You’re going to find a tampon in your next cappuccino.

Goddamn right it’s not going to happen again. “Don’t worry about it, you’re doing a great job.” Or, I’ll fire your ass.

“So what’s first on the list?” Am I supposed to melt in your arms now? Jesus, I’m starving; first I’m cramping now I’m hungry. And when you fire me I’m going to sue for wrongful termination.


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