Facebook is nice because it fools people into thinking I’m not a completely dull, friendless, island of a human. The “Likes” are wonderful substitutions for love and approval (and preferred because while everyone lurks around the web, the wide world is mine to explore, freely). I love the instant gratification of instant information. The days of thoughtful contemplation are over thanks to microwave solutions, and sure, a quick fix usually comes back around, but the proceeding band-aids can be tweeted while snap-chatting the terrible diarrhea that comes after eating a frozen dinner. If indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword, then the mouse bests them both–saving the world on one tab, and watching it burn on another.