2015 Toast

Here’s to another year of:

  • Hour cuts.
  • Cloths unraveling into spools of thread.
  • Twice the Advil, half the condoms.
  • Republicans: “Rights are for white men.”
  • Sleepless, drugless nights.
  • Earth reaching a delectable medium-rare.
  • Fully cooked, fortified, and frozen microwavable sustenance.
  • Terrorists: “Kill and rape, god says so.”
  • CIA: “Maybe it’s evil, but it’s not illegal.”
  • Lame advertising.
  • Low water pressure.
  • Overpriced education.
  • News: “Black crime is committed by thugs, white crime by the misguided.”
  • Nostalgic reruns.
  • White lies.
  • Awkward good-byes.

Drink up, and enjoy the new year.

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