7 Reasons I Don’t Want Kids

  1. I just don’t want any, doesn’t interest me the slightest.
  2. I’d rather have a savings account.
  3. A savings account I’d drain every year on a vacation that will be much more fun without having to look after a child.
  4. The world’s overpopulated, and if I really wanted a child I’d adopt one.
  5. While we’re on the subject of the world: a commitment to a child is also a commitment to the Earth, and my carbon footprint is large enough.
  6. It’s mainly my wife’s decision because I’m certainly not letting it grow in my body; risking high blood pressure, bullshit from insurance companies, and near death. And she doesn’t want one either.
  7. Staying married, going to school, being broke, and building a career are all difficult enough. When you stretch yourself too thin, you snap.
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