I don’t know why exactly, but I always start to feel sad around my birthday. I joke about having to bide my time on this rock, it makes for a good nervous laugh. It’s not that I’d rather be dead because now that I’m here I feel compelled to stick around and watch it all flush, however, I wouldn’t have complained if my parents had used protection. I love the ocean, the mountains, and the food, but Jesus…the people, what the fuck is wrong with the people? It blows my mind how someone can sit in a pew one day and cheer as bombs drop the next. Our capacity for love is so quickly overshadowed by fear and hate. Bummer. But it’s not all bad, even if we go extinct, we’ll be back after a few hundred million years, maybe less. Imagine archeologists of the future, digging up fossilized cell phones, plastic bottles, and pornography.