Easter is my annual reminder that Christianity borders on child-death cult, and this year it very appropriately fell on April Fool’s Day. I don’t say this to ‘rouse strong emotions, any casual reading of the Bible will have you mulling over death as it’s mentioned or referenced over 400 times in the English Standard Version. God didn’t fuck around when it came to killing, most of the Old Testament can be summed up in this verse: “Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.” Genesis opens with mind-games for the first humans, God pit Adam and Eve’s children against each other resulting in Abel’s death. Later, God could only be truly satisfied with Abraham after confirming his willingness to kill his only son. Reminds me of the plagues of Egypt, the climax being, again, the death of the firstborn sons. The second part of the Bible continues the same uninspired story. After Jesus is born, Herod, a ruler at the time, wanted to kill baby Jesus, but couldn’t locate him, “Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men.” The next 30 years are a Scooby-Doo mystery and the narrative returns when Jesus begins to build his holy entourage. God of the New Testament isn’t about killing everything that opposes Him, just the few who really like Him, mainly His son. But rather than force another cliche death of firstborn, there’s a twist: Christ 2.0. Had Jesus simply stayed dead, it would have been meaningful. As some of the Bible attempts to convey, Jesus gave his life for our salvation, but he rose three days later, and dying and coming back to life isn’t a sacrifice–it’s a magic trick–no different from pulling a chocolate rabbit out of a hat or sawing someone in half. If you can’t die, where then is the sacrifice? So much for salvation. All that’s left is a history of God-sanctioned death and a group of passionate followers, which to me, explains a lot of modern problems.